welcome to the abyss
Geordie Walker, one of the founders and guitarist for Killing Joke, has died of a stroke at the age of 64. Killing Joke is a band that is impossible to fit into just one music style box, and that is the reason why they have always been such a highly influential band to so many different musicians. My thoughts go out to his friends and family. May his memory always be a blessing.
I have complained on here and on my social media accounts about how a lot of modern post-punk bands sound the same; same Joy Division sounding bass, same droning vocals, same Cure sounding guitar. In fact I have had a bunch of people mad at me for talking about this in the past, but am I wrong? No, I am not. Are there good modern post-punk bands out there? Of course, but they are the outliers and not the norm. Being that all of this is the case I have decided to start buying music from the 80’s that I somehow overlooked back then or that I just didn’t know about. I have also bought some newish metal and legacy band CDs.
I can well imagine some people looking at the above photo and wondering why I would buy a bunch of Now Yearbook pop album compilations. The secret is that they never contain just pop songs. Back in the 80’s the British charts would often have new wave and ‘alternative’ songs in their ranks. More so than in the United States. For instance, that above Now Yearbook 88 comp has Voyage Voyage by Desireless on it, which was a big club hit in the alternative clubs in the San Francisco Bay Area back then. Never heard it on the radio, only in clubs so I was quite happy finding it on this CD. Also, there are a bunch of songs on these from bands that I totally skipped over in the 80’s for whatever reason. Remember, there was no internet and it was easy as hell to accidentally forget about bands back then. All of these were below £10 a piece and some were even below £5.
The above left is a Devo: 50 Years Of De-Evolution 1973-2023. I got this because I don’t own anything by them and I thought that it was about time that I did something about that. The above right is OMD Souvenir, a collection of their singles. I owned some of their music on tape in the late 80’s but nothing since. They were the first concert I ever went to back in 86 so they will always hold a special place in my heart for that reason. The bottom left is Toya’s album Anthem. I have been meaning to buy her music for ages now. She is one of those 80’s musicians that I just totally missed back then, mostly because I was in the US where I never heard her music being played. I have been constantly listening to this and she is sooooo good!The bottom right is Fuzzbox’s compilation Bostin’ Steve Austin, that includes their first album and a bunch of singles. I was very, very pleased to find their music on CD, because I had their first album on tape back in the late 80’s.
Yet more compilations! The top two are pretty easy to sus out so really no need for an explanation. I love Lycia and a few other ethereal bands so that middle CD really pleased me. It is a new comp put out on Cherry Red Records called Cherry Stars Collide: Dream Pop, Shoegaze & Ethereal Rock 1986-1995. I barely own any shoegaze or dream pop so this was a bit of a must have for me. Through it I know I’ll discover more bands. The bottom two are synth-pop compilations, one based on 1980 and the second based on 1981. I love old synth-pop music so these were a no brainer for me to get. Again, listening to these two will lead me to older bands that I have totally forgotten about.
I am beginning to explore metal music a bit more. I have always loved early Danzig and thrash music so it is a genre that is ripe for me to explore. The upper left is Omen by the band Moyra. They are a female lead melodic death metal band and holy shit can the woman growl and sing. The upper right is EndEx by the industrial metal band 3teeth. I really want to explore that specific genre more because I really don’t own that much of it even though I do tend to like it. The middle left is Ofnir by Heilung, and the middle right is Futha also by Heilung. They describe themselves as “amplified history from early medieval northern Europe”. They are haunting as hell and they give off spooky pagan vibes which is perfect in my opinion. The bottom left is OMD’s new album Bauhaus Staircase. I listened to it multiple times yesterday and it has got to be the most political music that they have ever made. I highly recommend it! Finally on the bottom right is Danse Macabre by Duran Duran.
Well, that is it for now. I hope you enjoyed this musical journey of my psyche as much as I loved writing about it, and I hope I introduced you to some bands that you will grow to love.
About three years ago I made this post about how the fetishization of goth women needs to stop and instead of things getting better in online spaces things have actually gotten worse. If you don’t know who Angela Benedict is she has been into goth music since the 90’s and she makes videos about her experiences within the subculture. She also gives solid advice. A few days ago she put up a video explaining how goth women do not want to be seen as a BTGGF fetish, and the backlash she got from some very insecure entitled men was really disgusting.
For those of you who do not know what the initials BTGGF stand for it’s slang for ‘big tiddy goth girlfriend’. It started as a meme some years back but now it has spread so far and wide that there is a growing cohort of mainly men who think that all goth women are into kink and will be freaks between the sheets. They think that we will let them try anything sexual and that we love being submissive.
To these absolute losers we are nothing but an object to collect; a notch on a bedpost. We are not seen as human, instead they see us as demonic sex kittens. With all of that being said let us look as some of the responses that her video has received.
The spineless idiot first tells Angela that if she doesn’t want to be sexualized that she should stop dressing like a ‘304’. What is a ‘304’? It is slang for a prostitute. So, because she has broken his fetish into little pieces he turns around and victim blames her. Of course he does because mentally he has the maturity of a bratty teenager. A bratty teenager who thinks he is entitled to have his way with goth women. This attitude is dangerous as hell and quite frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if he goes on to commit crimes against goth women. This is why it is so important to push back against this crap.
When Angela points out that he sounds very angry he then states that he can ‘ogle’ goth woman all he wants because we put ourselves out there to be ‘ogled’. What a total piece of shit. Would he ever say that in person to a goth woman? Hell no, and if anybody said that kind of shit to me in person I have a cane and I know how to use it. Just because a woman is wearing revealing clothing doesn’t mean that a man has the right to her body. Also, Angela is totally covered up in this video . The rise of ‘goth porn’ has some men thinking that goth women want sexual attention just because they dress in some lace and velvet. This is perpetuated by sex workers dressing in black and calling themselves goth when they are not. I have nothing against sex work BUT that shit is actually harming real goth women both on and off the internet.
Angela proceeds to call the dude Incel-Irving, which is a perfect name for the guy. I think one of the reasons why this dude is so angry is because he has been rejected by multiple goth women online. Remember, this guy doesn’t have the balls to go up to a goth woman in public and say this kind of shit. He is probably very unattractive and blames goth women for his inability to take a shower or change his crusty whitey tighties. Dude, we know exactly what you are: an incel who will never know the touch of a woman. I wasn’t lying when I told him that.
Angela then tells Incel-Irving that he is making her money every single time he engages with us. Which is the irony of all of this. The man-child thinks he is getting under her skin, when in reality he is showing everybody what an incel loser he is. I wasn’t lying when I said he gives off small penis energy, because he obviously is very insecure about his looks and his inability to score a goth woman. Poor little fella, literally.
The comments above are a little out of order because Incel Irving deleted some of his posts. I don’t think he expected other women to come in and tell him off Surprise!!! He tried putting Angela down by saying that she probably doesn’t make a lot of money being a bartender, while she isn’t a bartender. Proof the idiot hasn’t a clue as to what he is talking about. Angela is right, the guy is probably going to end up losing his legs from diabetes because he drinks bottles of Mountain Dew while sitting in his mother’s basement. He also deleted comments that said that both I and the other woman defending Angela are both men white knighting for her, and that we weren’t going to get to fuck her. Seriously, the idiot mentioned this multiple times. Since he thought we were men he was angry that we were defending her instead of him. Poor thing!
We then proceed to make fun of the guy for his huge mistake and that is that. As of this morning on October the 9th he has not replied and is probably on another site somewhere bitching to other incels about goth women. Off we go to the next loser.
This complete douche canoe thinks it is flattering to be made into a sex object because that is what a ‘romantic goth’ is all about. According to him being a ‘romantic goth’ means you are into romance and that leads to sex. I am not even joking. Not only does this idiot think that sexual harassing goths is okay, he also doesn’t know what the goth subculture is about. Go figure. It’s like this dude got his information from the back of a box of Count Chocula. Angela’s video pissed him off so much that he rage types in caps telling her that she needs to get some self respect and that she isn’t a goth. These little boys always come in with the insults, throwing them about hoping one will stick: such as ‘how dare you not want to fuck me, that means you aren’t a real goth because real goth women would love to get attention from me.’
Angela is correct the people that sexualize goth women are almost always men, because they think that they deserve a goth woman’s attention. What he doesn’t realize is that he has nothing to attract a goth woman. He is an insecure little boy who thinks he knows everything about the goth subculture. He then tries to insult Angela by saying that she probably listens to My Chemical Romance. Proof that he is failing about like a toddler throwing Cheerios everywhere from his highchair. They all end up doing this, it’s textbook.
After insulting him by saying that he will never know the touch of a woman he then proceeds to tell me that I will never know the touch of a ‘real man’. Wahahaha! We all ask him what a ‘real man’ is but he ignores us, and then proceeds to call Angela gorgeous and asks her if she believes in love. I’m not joking, this idiot thinks that all of his insults will make Angela attracted to him? I forgot, he thinks that goth women are submissive and will put up with any sexually tinged insult that comes at them. Fuck off with that nonsense!
I feel that the rise of this sort of behavior towards goth woman is heading into dangerous territory. With that being the case I think it is very important for goth women to support one another when this kind of crap happens online and in person. Every single time I see this kind of thing happen to a goth woman online I jump in because how can I not? I would be a coward if I didn’t help out and that is not the kind of person I am. Listening to The Dead Kennedys for a few decades has primed me to do this. If there is one thing that the punk subculture has taught me over the years is that having somebody’s back in a situation like this is very important. Angela clearly understands this and talks about it in the video. As goth women we needs to stick together.
So, if you are goth and you see this kind of shit taking place online jump in and help. It is not enough to be passive aggressive and shit talk behind backs. If you witness this happening in person also jump in because if you don’t the creep is going to keep thinking that they can easily get away with this crap. They need to be shown proof that their actions are unwanted, Use your streetsmarts and act accordingly. Stay safe out there.
If you know about the history of LA punk then you know about the battle that happened between two different Chinese restaurants in Chinatown who both wanted to cater to live punk shows in order to make more money. A documentary on PBS has been made about it, and it includes interviews with Alice Bag, Keith Morris and others who were in the midst of all of the chaos going on. If you don’t know the history of LA punk then this would be an excellent starting point to gain some knowledge.
If there is something that I know how to do well is shaving an undercut. I have been doing it on and off since 1988 so I have had a bit of practice. I’ve had a complete undercut, a deathawk and right now it is shaved on only one side.
If you have never had an undercut I would highly suggest going to a hairdresser the first time, because they are more than likely to get the lines straight which makes it more easy for you to do it yourself. The above tools are what I use to do my hair. I use a rechargeable clipper so that I don’t have to worry about extension cords or anything like that. It is smaller than most clippers which makes it way more easy to get into tight spaces.
In the above photo I am holding my long hair flat down so that shaving along that line is more easy for me to do. I do as much as I can in the bathroom mirror before I have to use the handheld mirror in conjunction with it. To keep the hair flat on the side in the back I tightly put my hair in a ponytail so that I can hold the mirror in my left hand and shave with my right hand. If you are right handed the left side will be more difficult and if you are left handed the right side will be more difficult. Make sure the clipper doesn’t get clogged with hair by blowing the hair out of it as needed. I have thick hair so I have to do this pretty frequently.
It is very common to accidentally shave some of the longer hairs, but the good news is that it will grow back. I never freak out when this happens because it is the price I pay for wanting this haircut. I shave it about every three weeks on a ‘1’ setting. I have never shaved it with a razor because cuts on the head tend to bleed a lot.
I hope this helps you on your undercut journey and that you get the courage to do it yourself and save some money.
This is a pretty big deal because no Misfits material has been rereleased since that complete box set came out over 25 years ago. It’s a picture disc and Cleopatra say that other versions, including a signed edition, are in the pipeline. Being the huge Misfits fan that I am I had to order this, and when the signed edition comes out I will also be ordering that. This is probably going to sell out fairly quickly so grab one while you can. It’s a pre-order that is going to be released right around Halloween, which is very fitting. EDIT: Signed edition sold out before I could get to it, which is fine because they wanted over £100 for it. LOL EDIT 2: More signed editions are coming supposedly. Knowing Cleopatra they’ll make twenty different colours of it.
Yesterday I went into town and looked through a couple of thrift stores, and again they were very picked over so I found nothing. However, I went to New Look and found two very cool items. The above photo is of a ruffled black blouse/dress that buttons down the front so that it could be used as a dress or in layering. I had a shorter blouse almost exactly like it 30 years ago so to say I am pleased would be an understatement.
I also found the above green microfiber trench coat. The photo is making it look discolored but it is indeed all green. I love the fact that it is very unstructured and has a great flow to it. It really fits into my spooky dystopian/post-apocalyptic aesthetic: my core colours are black, grey, camo green and dark purple.
There were several different black microfiber jackets and various black tops that had either lace or ruffles, and they had some cute Halloween themed socks. So if you are living in the UK get thee to your nearest New Look store.
This is a continuation of my series about 80’s bands that have been generally forgotten, or ignored, by a younger audience. These bands may have created music past the 80’s, but their height of fame was the 80’s. If you are of a certain age, like I am, you would have more than likely heard of these bands.
Who were The Call? They were an ‘alternative’ band that formed in Santa Cruz California in 1980. Their music was somewhat spiritual in the same sense that early U2 was. They would sometimes sing about a higher force but weren’t overtly singing about a certain set of beliefs. Since they were considered a San Francisco Bay Area band their songs were frequently played on the local ‘alternative’ radio stations of that area in the 80’s. That is how I learned about them. Their main claim to fame was that they were the original writers and performers of the Lost Boys soundtrack song I Still Believe that saxophonist Tim Cappello covered in the film.
Back around 89-90 I accidentally saw them live at the long gone Santa Clara alternative club One Step Beyond and they put on an excellent show. They broke up and reformed a few times until their singer/songwriter Michael Been died of a heart attack in 2010. Here a few songs by them that I really enjoy, and I hope you like them too because they were a very underrated band.
I Still Believe (1986)
Everywhere I Go (1986)
Let The Day Begin (1989)
The Walls Came Down (1983)
You Run (1989)
In a previous post I talked about how Killstar is going down in flames. With that being said this really feels like a desperate attempt by them to crawl out of their fetid swamp filled with the tears of Avril Lavigne. I bet a really out of touch board member thought ‘Hey, I know how we can pull ourselves out of our swamp, let’s target those teens that love that Wednesday series!! They’ll pay top dollar for anything we churn out!’. *crickets*
Unfortunately for the company things are not going to plan. Not a single item on their UK site is sold out or even close to sold out. Seriously, I checked every item before writing this. Want to guess as to why? Come with me on a journey filled with polyester and angst! EDIT: As of September the 6th all of the clothing is still in stock and nothing is sold out on the UK site. EDIT 2: As of the evening of September the 6th all off the clothing is still in stock and nothing is sold out on the US site.
First up is this skater dress with bell sleeves, the exact same silhouette that they have used time and time again. They want to charge £44.99 for this? It had better be made of some sort of cotton blend for that price.
Nope! It is made of polyester, without any cotton in site! Not just any polyester, a fabric so thin that if you look closely you can actually see her skin tone through it. I think the real Wednesday Addams would throw this into a fire and giggle while it burned.
Next up is their Pugsley Addams sweater. For the cheap price of £54.99 you too can look like an angst filled teenager. It has an embroidered patch on the front, but it must be made of a cotton blend for that price, right? RIGHT?
WRONG!!! It is made of 100% polyester, not a scrap of cotton in sight. Since that is the case you are going to sweat like hell wearing this. What fun! So, you are basically paying all of that money for that patch stuck to it. Peachy-keen!
What a bargain! £32.99 for a basic t-shirt with an angsty graphic image! Are they telling me that I shouldn’t like hugs? I love hugs and I am in my early 50’s so I am guessing that this campaign wasn’t meant for me…even though I have money to spend, unlike an angst filled teenager. Killstar doesn’t understand the concept of demographics and who actually has spending money right now. People are broke, so even most adults would probably stay away from this.
This is 100% cotton, which to be fair most t-shrts are. However, most t-shirts don’t cost this much money.
Next up is an oversized cardigan for the low, low price of £59.99. It’s special because it has an embroidered patch on the front. Is it glued or sewn on? For that hefty price it had better be sewn, and the fabric had better be a cotton blend.
Surprise, it is 100% polyester! Not only do you get to itch, you also get to sweat! How very kind of them to think of us like that!
Oh look, yet another angsty £32.99 t-shirt. At least it is made of cotton so that you won’t be dripping with sweat as you lounge around all angsty. Remember, if you are goth you aren’t supposed to laugh or like hugs.
For the low low price of £39.99 you can buy this nifty ‘corset’ top with a zipper in the back and no lacing, so that you can look like you are wearing an ill fitting top just like this model! I used to be exactly her size and my boobs would probably battle to see which could get a shadow of a lift from this top. At least it is made of comfortable material so that you don’t sweat, right? RIGHT?
Nope, it is made of polyester materials and viscose so that you can freely sweat however much you want. Polyester repels water while viscose absorbs it, which means you would be a sweaty mess if you start doing things such as dancing or walking. How delightful!
Now we have the Addams Sweatshirt for £49.99. Sweatshirts are normally made from cotton so that you don’t sweat like hell and are comfortable. Surely this is made of cotton….surely!
The gods have blessed us, it is indeed made of cotton! Will miracles ever cease? That much money for a basic sweatshirt is insane. Insane I tell ya!
There is no simpler way to tell people how much you like to throw away money than to buy this for only £49.99. It better have a vial of Robert Smith’s tears to be costing that much money.
Made of both polyurethane and polyester? Faux leather usually starts peeling after a certain amount of time; in time to need a new bag from their next collection? How cool of them to think of trend jumpers like that. Trend jumpers have feelings too!
Dear God, why have you forsaken us in our hour of need? £49.99 is a whole lot of money to buy a basic polyester dress and it is going to take a miracle for people to afford this.
Awwww…..it’s the same polyester and viscose blended material that the corset top was. Maybe they can start an urban myth marketing trend; if you are soaked in sweat while wearing this dress in a cemetery the shade of Wednesday Addams will appear. You and I know she is a fictional character but others might not. I have all sorts of marketing ideas Killstar, get in touch if interested.
Now it is the Be Strange Long Sleeve Top for £34.99. Again, a silhouette that they have used time and time again. How original of them! The angst is strong with this one, but what is it made of? How much do they want you to sweat in this?
It is 95% viscose so they want you to suffer and sweat a whole lot. How kind!
Look, a top that may actually be worth the £27 they are charging for it! My goodness, I feel light headed right now!
95% polyester? Of course it is, and it looks quite thin. I have to give them some credit for the words actually being embroidered on it. However, the high neck looks very awkward when paired with the bare belly. If the model can’t even pull this look off what hope is there for the rest of us?
The Sub-Urban Gothic Long Sleeve Top is next, and by golly is that a lot of words for just a £32.99 basic striped top. Wait, I get it! It has a badge on it so that makes it special? Special in what way?
So special that it is made of 92% viscose! At first I thought it might be cotton, but I think that is just the patch since they tell you to wash it on cold with no tumble drying.
I’m Saaaorry Leggings for the low price of £34.99? I am trying to be an optimist but I have a feeling that I might just feel all sorry for myself after looking at what they are made of.
95% viscose? Are they including yeast infection meds with this because I can’t imagine anybody’s vagina being happy after wearing these all day.
Awww…….Killstar doing what they do best; sticking a white collar on a black dress. Could that be yet more edgy embroidery?
Not a breathable fabric in sight, it is made of almost all viscose! It is indeed embroidered. Go them! *slowly claps*
Yet another one of their usual pointed collar dresses, this time with a bunch of buttons that will more than likely fall off after a few wears. All of this for the low price of £59.99! What a bargain!
It is made of 100% viscose, go figure! To be more edgy they should have made the printed skulls larger, just saying.
Oh dear, £59.99 for yet another chance of a yeast infection? Sign me up!
Viscose and polyester together in one pair of flares? It feels like a dream come true, doesn’t it?
They want £39.99 for a simple cotton long sleeve top just because they slapped Wednesday on the front? Nah.
Again, why does Killstar not like hugs? For £39.99 it feels like Killstar didn’t get enough love as a child.
95% polyester. Killstar is making sure you are indeed a no hug zone, because who wants to hug somebody who is drenched in sweat?
Yeast infection ahoy! Half black, half striped and all sweat for only £39.99! That branding makes almost no sense because once somebody puts on a pair of boots it is covered. Hence why the model isn’t wearing any in that first photo.
Made of viscose and polyester, you shouldn’t be surprised at this point. Why do they hate cotton in leggings so much?
£49.99 for just one blouse? Killstar, are you on crack? It is time to lay down that pipe and enter the real world.
100% viscose for the win! Maybe you can wear this to a funeral in the winter? I can’t imagine moving around a bunch in this and actually being comfortable.
There goes that collar again. I am beginning to think that somebody on their design team has a fetish for them. There is no way in hell that this dress is worth £59.99.
Lots of viscose and polyester and a little elastane. Killstar, you cannot tell me this shit stretches a lot. How the hell is this even wearable as a dress because anybody larger than the model is going to have their ass hanging out.
This is a hoodie that genuinely shocked me as to how much it is. They want £62.99 for this shit. It’s just a long pullover hoodie with that same angsty no hug zone image on the front.
It is 100% cotton, but that doesn’t negate the fact that it is way, way overpriced for what it is; crap.
Here we go again, £32.99 for a basic cotton t-shirt with an angsty image thrown up on it. Shocking!
This are kind of cute and the cheapest thing on here for a grand total of £8.99. However, do they have any cotton in them? Remember cotton is important in socks because it lets your feet breathe.
80% cotton? Colour me shocked, shocked I tell ya! At least you won’t get trench foot wearing them? My sarcasm is reaching its limit.
A cropped sweater with print on the back for £44.99? Who the hells belles has that kind of cash to throw down for something like this?
It is 100% cotton…and yet one feels that they should be getting a better bang for their hard earned buck. At least a sweater that is full length. Sheesh.
…and they have saved their best for last. £32.99 for a pair of leggings that look like they would attract a yeast infection final boss in a video game. Sounds fun, right? What I truly don’t get about these is putting the purple pattern below the knee instead of the entire leg.
100% polyurethane. I could well imagine somebody passing out from wearing these in the summer. I used to wear similar leggings when I would go clubbing over 20 years ago and it would be a major pain in the arse peeling them off when I would get home because the lining would be drenched in sweat. The struggle is real!
Well, that’s it! Thank you for coming along with me on this journey filled with overpriced fun and surprises. May the force be with you…in a Sith way of course.
Over the last few weeks I have seen online more and more talk about classism and how it heavily affects those with little to no money. Almost all fashion these days can easily be considered ‘fast fashion’ since most clothing is now made in developing countries. The only way you are going to completely avoid it is if you buy used clothing or something handmade, and that isn’t as easy as some would make you believe.
Last week I went into town and visited the three charity shops there. I found nothing because they were all majorly picked over. Resellers actively go to these shops, and one of them has even opened their own local shop selling these clothes for way more cash. I’m not even joking. This type of thing is happening everywhere, so where the heck are ‘dark alternative’ type people supposed to find affordable clothing or accessories? On Poshmark and other related used product websites? Again many of the used products on those type of sites are very overpriced and not affordable for a whole chunk of people.
As you know I do a whole lot of DIY type projects and I frequently upcycle clothes that I find on clearance at my local New Look store. In the past I also bought a whole lot of clearance items off of Killstar for projects. Within the last year I have completely stopped buying anything from them because the quality of their items has jumped off of a cliff. In fact the quality of most ‘dark alternative’ type clothing is in the gutter right now; charging lots of money for items that you can find on Shein or Temu for a fraction of the price. Unfortunately this happens so frequently on Etsy that you have to do constant reverse image searches so that you don’t get ripped off.
Since all of this is the case why the hell should ‘dark alternative’ type people be shamed for buying what they can afford? It is often said that you can dress any way you want to if you are goth, but this is often paired with a wagging finger telling you where you should or should not shop. In a perfect world it would be great if fast fashion didn’t exist, but the world isn’t perfect and people have to buy clothing and accessories from somewhere. Yes, it is easy to do certain DIY type projects but you need supplies to do so and it can get very expensive gathering them together. The only people who shop on Shein and Temu who deserve any sort of derision are those who constantly make huge orders of things that they will more than likely almost never use. That is their business and they can do what they like, but it really comes across as being extremely wasteful.
My advice? Only buy things that you know you will either wear or turn into DIY type projects. Recently I browsed Temu for the first time and I actually found some very cool patches and badges. To my surprise I was also able to find and buy different Halloween themed ribbons and fabrics for fairly cheap. Where I live Halloween isn’t celebrated as heavily as in the US so I can’t find the same items in a store near me.
If any goth or ‘dark alternative’, uber goober gives you crap for shopping on Shein and Temu tell them to mind their own business; if you are happy that is all that really counts.
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